Why self-discovery is in vain

28 years I spent on self-discovery. 

15 Jobs I quitted in order to realize it is not me. 

4 continents I travelled through to discover myself in any culture one can imagine, but discovering nothing but my old patterns. 

Until I came to that very discussion today, where my friend told me as a negligible fact: "I do not believe in self-discovery". You cannot go to Timbuktu and be all peaceful, and thats the real you, coming back in the office and then you are angry again. Which one is you then? You are then peaceful one in Timbuktu and you are the angry one in the office."

I asked myself: Now why is it that I went for Timbuktu in the first place? And I went to so many Timbuktus all around the world, only to discover, that it wasn't me. None of them.

And she said: "The only thing you CAN do, is self-creation. You can choose who you want to be and create that person! That's it!" 

Here we go, after all these years of world traveling, being anywhere in the middle of nowhere, I came back and it is an old friend giving me the answer to all my seeking: self-creation. 

I have been asking myself the wrong questions all the way long!

It is not, who am I? But, who do I want to be? And maybe not even, who do I want to be. But, how do I want to feel? What is the purpose of life?

And that one is easy, right? I want to feel happy. Not just once a week or every two days. But 24 hours, 7 days a week. And when will I be in that state? If I made happiness a habit, but a choice or a path or aim in life. Then I'll be happy all day long. If my minds habit would be happiness. That is the formula.