It happens again. I feel I have to change. And I do everything for that change. I see the aim just in front of me. However, I can't do the next step. I want to run away.
My head is full of voices:
you can't do it. you will never have success. you are a loser anyway. Noone will read that blog of yours. it is just another blow. why are you taking all this efforts? this is embarrassing. you are embarrassing. what you produce is embarrassing.
And I wonder why do I have these doubts?
My life is miserable, because of them.
Again I would like accuse my parents or my teachers or anyone out there. It is their fault. But really, it is just my own responsibility. They might have given me these thoughts. However, it is me, who is making a victim out of myself. It is me, who then just gets encouraged and gives in. It is me who gives up this dream.
Instead of giving up. You can use them as advisors. These critical voices are actually your best friends.
They tell you constantly, why what is not good enough. Instead of taking it as an offense and letting it make you drop your project, you can take them as advice on how to improve your product.
I looked deeper. I am about to create blog about finding yourself. Online courses and ebooks.
And each time I want to buy the domain, my head just whispers: are you sure? And I can't click. It has been happening for so many hours now, that I decided to write about these doubts.
However, now taking it as a constructive critic. My response is. Okay lets see. Do I have a real plan in here? Did I actually think it through? Have I considered the exact, target group, the exact problem I want to solve for them, the exact solution and tools? Are these tools and solutions useful?
And you know what, I realized I do not need to have a yes on each of this questions. A yes for most of these questions is good enough.
I just clicked.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Why am I jealous?
Today I was working on my very old (new) idea, starting a blog, which actually is really cool. Where I can offer solutions and serve people and thus myself. So I can continue living the life I like and
I even paid a couple hundreds of Euros to get started and motivated by a bloguni and community. wow.
At some point of building your product, you always come across one thing: the competition. And I just got so damn jealous seeing a blog, a really successful blog of a woman, who is living the life I have been living for the last couple of years, but was smart enough to create a blog about it.
Now she is super famous, successful, ebook writer and my sister is telling me, hey dont you think she is cool? You can learn a lot from her! She is so successful! And in my mind its just, yeah, she is cool, she is living the life I was living, however being so smart making actually a living out of her lifestyle.
Only by telling other people how awesome her life is and giving some recommendations. And I realized, I was jealous, because that could have been me. However, it wasn't. I have had the same idea, at the same time, have had the same lifestyle for these years. But I just did not do it. She did it. I did not.
I have two choices now:
run away from that ugly feeling or understand/take action.
this time I decided, thank you Ms success. Yes, I am jealous. Thank you for making me feel this way. If I don't want to have that feeling any more. In order to have it "sustainably gone" - I need to do something about it. I finally have to stop scheming and dreaming, but actually start living.
Now, it is time to change. Again Thank you for making me jealous. It was another wake up call.
I even paid a couple hundreds of Euros to get started and motivated by a bloguni and community. wow.
At some point of building your product, you always come across one thing: the competition. And I just got so damn jealous seeing a blog, a really successful blog of a woman, who is living the life I have been living for the last couple of years, but was smart enough to create a blog about it.
Now she is super famous, successful, ebook writer and my sister is telling me, hey dont you think she is cool? You can learn a lot from her! She is so successful! And in my mind its just, yeah, she is cool, she is living the life I was living, however being so smart making actually a living out of her lifestyle.
Only by telling other people how awesome her life is and giving some recommendations. And I realized, I was jealous, because that could have been me. However, it wasn't. I have had the same idea, at the same time, have had the same lifestyle for these years. But I just did not do it. She did it. I did not.
I have two choices now:
run away from that ugly feeling or understand/take action.
this time I decided, thank you Ms success. Yes, I am jealous. Thank you for making me feel this way. If I don't want to have that feeling any more. In order to have it "sustainably gone" - I need to do something about it. I finally have to stop scheming and dreaming, but actually start living.
Now, it is time to change. Again Thank you for making me jealous. It was another wake up call.
Friday, July 22, 2016
How to be happy in every moment
It is all about happiness - isn't it?
This is the point where meditation comes into play.
Why does meditation makes you happy? Because it actually trains the mind to be in equilibrium. And if one does Vipassana meditation. Then one is even working on changing the habit pattern of the mind.
To understand better check a course with www.dhamma.org ----
Yet happiness comes and goes. The moments you are happy seem to be much less than the moments, you are tired, lonely, depressed, angry, confused, etc.
Now what is happiness?
Looking at my day:
I woke up and meditated. Was I happy? Maybe somehow.
I did some work. Earned some money. Was I happy? Maybe.
I went swimming, had some workout. Was I happy? Maybe.
For dinner I saw a good friend. We played and laughed. Was I happy? I guess so.
Everybody keeps on saying, happiness is NOT
- money/being rich
- a destination but a path
- a characteristic but a decision or a choice
Then some scientists claim that happiness is your good feelings and general satisfaction with life.
Now I believe the following: happiness is a habit !
That is nothing new or special. For example, people suggest to have daily rituals in order to increase the happy feelings. Or there are so called zen habits, like doing good things, helping others etc.
However, if you want to be really happy all the time, even without this rituals, then you have to start somewhere else. It is actually the mind we have to change.
To understand happiness, we have to understand unhappiness. When are we unhappy? Or the better question: why are we unhappy? Something something unwanted happened to us. And the mind reacted with bad feelings.
The crucial fact is the reaction of the mind.
On the other side of the coin, something wanted might happen. Then we react with happy feelings. And that is what we mistake for happiness. Actually, it is just another reaction of the mind.
Now it is getting clear, that real happiness is not just a good feeling. Real happiness is actually something beyond the "normal feelings of happiness". Real happiness is an absence of reaction. Real happiness is peace of mind, an absolute equilibrium. So if we changed the mind, in order to stop to react to input, then there would be real happiness for us. Then one could be happy in every moment of life.
On the other side of the coin, something wanted might happen. Then we react with happy feelings. And that is what we mistake for happiness. Actually, it is just another reaction of the mind.
Now it is getting clear, that real happiness is not just a good feeling. Real happiness is actually something beyond the "normal feelings of happiness". Real happiness is an absence of reaction. Real happiness is peace of mind, an absolute equilibrium. So if we changed the mind, in order to stop to react to input, then there would be real happiness for us. Then one could be happy in every moment of life.
This is the point where meditation comes into play.
Why does meditation makes you happy? Because it actually trains the mind to be in equilibrium. And if one does Vipassana meditation. Then one is even working on changing the habit pattern of the mind.
To understand better check a course with www.dhamma.org ----
Thursday, July 21, 2016
What is meditation? How to meditate? Why meditate? A real master's explanation
On my road of Vipassana I have met many teachers, monks, people who live ascetic lifes and so on.
Again and again meditators on "higher levels" were telling me to read books of Ajahn Chah. Telling me he was actually enlightened and that his books give good insight. That made me super curious and I thought I will share how he, obviously a master of meditation, did define it in the book "bodhinyana". It is kind of a long introduction, so if one wants to skip that, then just go to the last sentence.
"What is Dhamma? Dhamma is that which can cut through the problems and difficulties of mankind, gradually reducing them to nothing. That's what is called Dhamma and that's what should be studied throughout our daily lives so that when some mental impression arises in us, we'll be able to deal with it and go beyond it.
Problems are common to us all whether living here in Thailand or in other countries. If we don'tknow how to solve them, we'll always be subject so suffering and distress. That which solves problems is wisdom and to have wisdom we must develop and train the mind.
The subject of practise isn't far away at all, it's right here in our body and mind. Westerners and Thais are the same;they both have a body and mind. A confused body and mind means a confused person and a peaceful body and mind, a peaceful person.
Actually, the mind, like rain water, is pure in its natural state. If we were to drop green colorin into clear rain water, however, it would turn green. If yellow coloring it would turn yellow.
The mind reacts similarly. When a comfortable mental impression 'drops' into the ind, the mind is comfortable. When the mental impression is uncomfortable, the mind is uncomfortable. The mind becomes 'cloudy' just like the colored water.
When clear water contacts yellow, it turns yellow. When it contacts green, it turns green. It will change color every time. Actually, that water which is green or yellow is naturally clean and clear. This is also the natural state of the mind, clean and pure and unconfused. It becomes confused only because it pursues mental impressions; it gets lost in its moods!
Let me explain more clear.y. Right now we are sitting in a peaceful forest. Here, if there's no wind, a leaf remains still. When a wind blows it flaps and flutters. The mind is similar to that leaf. When it contacts a mental impression, it , too, 'flaps and flutters'according to the nature of that mental impression. And the less we know of Dhamma, the more the mind will continually pursue mental impressions. Feeling happy, it succumbs to happiness. Feeling suffering, it succumbs to suffering. It's constant confusion!
In the end people become neurotic. Why? Because they don't know! They just follow their moods and don't know how to look after their own minds. When the mind has no one to look after it, it's like a child without a mother or a father to take care of him. An orphan has no refuge and, without a refuge, he's very insecure.
Likewise, if the mind is not looked after, if there is no training or maturation of character with right understanding, it's really troublesome.
The method of training the mind which I will give you today is Kammathana. "Kamma" means 'action' and "thana" means 'base'. In Buddhism it is the method of making the mind peaceful and tranquil. It's for you to use in training the mind and with the trained mind investigate the body.
Our being is composed of two parts: one is the body, the other, the mind. There a re only these two parts. What is called "the body", is that which can be seen with our physical eyes. "the mind", on the other hand, has no physical aspect. The mind can only be seen with the 'internal eye' or the ' eye of the mind'. These two things, body and mind, are in a constant state of turmoil.
What is the mind? The mind isn't really any 'thing'. Conventionally speaking, it's that which feels or senses. That which senses, receives and experiences all mental impressions is called "mind". Right at this moment there is mind. As I am speaking to you, the mind acknowledges what I am saying. Sounds enter through the ear and you know what is being said. That which experiences this is called "mind".
This mind is mind. Mental objects are mental objects. Mental objects are not the mind, the mind is not mental objects. In order to clearly understand our minds and the mental objects in our minds, we say that the mind is that which receives the mental objects which pop into it.
When these two things, mind and its object, come into contact with each other, they give rise to feelings. Some are good, some bad, some cold, some hot, all kinds! Without wisdom to deal with these feelings, however, the mind will be troubled.
Meditation is the way of developing the mind so that it may be a base for the arising of wisdom. Here the breath is physical foundation. We call it Anapnasati or "mindfulness of breathing". Here we make breathing our mental object. We take this object of meditation because it's the simplest and because it has been the heart of meditation since ancient times. When a good occasion arises to do sitting meditation, sit cross-legged: right leg on topf of the left leg, right hand on top of the left hand. Keep your back straight and erect. Say to yourself, "Now I will let go of all my burdens and concerns." You don't want anything that will cuase you worry. Let go of all concerns for the time being.
Now fix your attention on the breath. Then breathe in and breathe out. In developing awareness of breathing, don't intentionally make the breath long or short.Neither make it astrong or weak. Just let if flow normally and naturally. Mindfulness and selfawareness, arising from the mind, will know the inbreath and the outbreath.
Be at ease. Don't think about anything. No need to think of this or that. The only thing you have to do is fix your attention on the breathing in and breathing out. You have nothing else to do but that! Keep your mindfulness fixed on the in-and out-breaths as they occur. Be aware of the beginning, middle and end of each breath. On inhalation, the beginning of the breath is at the nose tip, the middle at the heart, and dthe end in the abdomen. On exhalation, it's just the reverse: the beginning of the breath is in the abdomen, the middle at the heart, and the end at the nose tip. Develop the awreness of the breath: I at the nose tip; 2, at the heart;3, in the abdomen. Then in reverse: 1, in the abdomen; 2, at the heart; and 3, at the nose tip.
Focusing the attention on these three points will relieve all worries. Just don' think of anything else! Keep your attention on the breath. Perhaps other thoughts will enter the mind. It will take up other themes and distract you. Don' be concerned. Just take up the breathing again as your object of attention. The mind may get caught up in judging and investigating your moods, but continue to practice, being constantly aware of the beginning, middle and the end of each breath.
Eventually, the mind will be aware of the breath at these three points all the time. When you do this practice for some time, the mind and body will get accustomed to the work. Fatigue will disappear. The body will feel lighter and the breath will become more and more refined. Mindfulness and self-awareness will protect the mind and watch over it.
We practice like this until the mind is peaceful and calm, until it is one. One means that hte mind will be completely absorbed in the breathing, that it doesn't separate from the breath. The mind will be unconfused and at ease. I twill know the beginning, middle and end of the breath and remain steadily fixed on it.
Then when the mind is peaceful, we fix our attention on the in-breath and out-breath at the nose tip only. We don't have to follow it up and down to the abdomen and back. Just concentrate on the tip of the nose whether the breath comes in and goes out.
This is called "Calming the mind", making it relaxed and peaceful. When tranquillity arises, the mind stops; it stops with its single object, the breath. This iwhat's known as making th emind peaceful so that wisdom may arise.
this is the beginning, the foundation of our practice. You should try to practice this every single day, wherever you may be. Whether at home in a car, lying or sitting down, you should be mindfully aware and watch over the mind constantly.
This is called mental training which should be practised in all the four postures. Not just sitting, but standing, walking, and lying as well. The point is that we should know what the state of the mind is at each moment, and, to be able to do this, we must be constantly mindful and aware. Is the mind happy or suffering? Is it confused? IS it peaceful? Getting to know the mind in this manner allows it to become tranquil, and when it does become tranquil, wisdom will arise.
With the tranquil mind investigate the meditation subject which is the body, from the top of the head to the soles of the feet, then back to the head. Do this over and over again. Look at and see the hair of the head, hair of the body, the nails, teeth and skin. In this meditation we will see that htis whole body is composed of four 'elements': earth, water, fire and wind.
The hard and solid parts of our body make up the earth element; the liquid and flowin gparts, teh water element. Winds that pass up and down our body make up the wild element, and the heat in our body, the fire element.
Taken together, they compose what we call a "human being". However, when the body is broken down into its component parts, only these four elements remain. The Buddha taught that there is no 'being' per se, no human, no Thai, no Westerner, no person, but that ultimately, there are only these four elements -that's all! We assume that there is a person or a 'being' but, in reality, there isn't anything of the sort.
Whether taken separately as earth, water, fire and wind, or taken together labelling what they form a "human being", are all unstable, uncertain and in a state of constant change --not stable for a single moment!
Our body is unstable, altering and changing constantly. Hair changes, nails change, teeth change, skin changes--everything changes, completely!
Our mind, too, is always changing. It isn't a self or substance. It isn't really 'us', not really 'them', although it may think so. Maybe it will think about killing itself. Maybe it will think of happiness or of suffering--all sorts of things! It's unstable. If we don't have wisdom an we blieve the mind of ours, it will lie to us continually. And w e will alternately suffer and be happy.
Together they are impermanent. Together they are a source of suffering. Together they are devoid of self. These, the Buddha pointed out, are neither a being, nor a person, nor a self, nor a soul, nor us, or they. They are merely elements: earth, water, fire and wind. Elements only!
When the mind sees this, it will rid itself of attachment which holds that 'I' have, 'I' am beautiful, 'I' am good, 'I' am evil, 'I' am suffering... You will experience a state of unity, for you'll have seen that all of mankind is basically the same. There is no 'I'. There are only elements.
When you contemplate and see impermanence, suffering and not-self, there will no longer be clinging to a self, a being. I or he or she. The mind which sees this will give rise to Nibbida, world - weariness and dispassion. It will see all things a s only impermanent, suffering and not-self.
The mind then stops. The mind is Dhamma. Greed, hatred, delusion will then diminish and recede little by little until finally there is only mind--just the pure mind. This is called "practicing meditation".
Again and again meditators on "higher levels" were telling me to read books of Ajahn Chah. Telling me he was actually enlightened and that his books give good insight. That made me super curious and I thought I will share how he, obviously a master of meditation, did define it in the book "bodhinyana". It is kind of a long introduction, so if one wants to skip that, then just go to the last sentence.
"What is Dhamma? Dhamma is that which can cut through the problems and difficulties of mankind, gradually reducing them to nothing. That's what is called Dhamma and that's what should be studied throughout our daily lives so that when some mental impression arises in us, we'll be able to deal with it and go beyond it.
Problems are common to us all whether living here in Thailand or in other countries. If we don'tknow how to solve them, we'll always be subject so suffering and distress. That which solves problems is wisdom and to have wisdom we must develop and train the mind.
The subject of practise isn't far away at all, it's right here in our body and mind. Westerners and Thais are the same;they both have a body and mind. A confused body and mind means a confused person and a peaceful body and mind, a peaceful person.
Actually, the mind, like rain water, is pure in its natural state. If we were to drop green colorin into clear rain water, however, it would turn green. If yellow coloring it would turn yellow.
The mind reacts similarly. When a comfortable mental impression 'drops' into the ind, the mind is comfortable. When the mental impression is uncomfortable, the mind is uncomfortable. The mind becomes 'cloudy' just like the colored water.
When clear water contacts yellow, it turns yellow. When it contacts green, it turns green. It will change color every time. Actually, that water which is green or yellow is naturally clean and clear. This is also the natural state of the mind, clean and pure and unconfused. It becomes confused only because it pursues mental impressions; it gets lost in its moods!
Let me explain more clear.y. Right now we are sitting in a peaceful forest. Here, if there's no wind, a leaf remains still. When a wind blows it flaps and flutters. The mind is similar to that leaf. When it contacts a mental impression, it , too, 'flaps and flutters'according to the nature of that mental impression. And the less we know of Dhamma, the more the mind will continually pursue mental impressions. Feeling happy, it succumbs to happiness. Feeling suffering, it succumbs to suffering. It's constant confusion!
In the end people become neurotic. Why? Because they don't know! They just follow their moods and don't know how to look after their own minds. When the mind has no one to look after it, it's like a child without a mother or a father to take care of him. An orphan has no refuge and, without a refuge, he's very insecure.
Likewise, if the mind is not looked after, if there is no training or maturation of character with right understanding, it's really troublesome.
The method of training the mind which I will give you today is Kammathana. "Kamma" means 'action' and "thana" means 'base'. In Buddhism it is the method of making the mind peaceful and tranquil. It's for you to use in training the mind and with the trained mind investigate the body.
Our being is composed of two parts: one is the body, the other, the mind. There a re only these two parts. What is called "the body", is that which can be seen with our physical eyes. "the mind", on the other hand, has no physical aspect. The mind can only be seen with the 'internal eye' or the ' eye of the mind'. These two things, body and mind, are in a constant state of turmoil.
What is the mind? The mind isn't really any 'thing'. Conventionally speaking, it's that which feels or senses. That which senses, receives and experiences all mental impressions is called "mind". Right at this moment there is mind. As I am speaking to you, the mind acknowledges what I am saying. Sounds enter through the ear and you know what is being said. That which experiences this is called "mind".
This mind is mind. Mental objects are mental objects. Mental objects are not the mind, the mind is not mental objects. In order to clearly understand our minds and the mental objects in our minds, we say that the mind is that which receives the mental objects which pop into it.
When these two things, mind and its object, come into contact with each other, they give rise to feelings. Some are good, some bad, some cold, some hot, all kinds! Without wisdom to deal with these feelings, however, the mind will be troubled.
Meditation is the way of developing the mind so that it may be a base for the arising of wisdom. Here the breath is physical foundation. We call it Anapnasati or "mindfulness of breathing". Here we make breathing our mental object. We take this object of meditation because it's the simplest and because it has been the heart of meditation since ancient times. When a good occasion arises to do sitting meditation, sit cross-legged: right leg on topf of the left leg, right hand on top of the left hand. Keep your back straight and erect. Say to yourself, "Now I will let go of all my burdens and concerns." You don't want anything that will cuase you worry. Let go of all concerns for the time being.
Now fix your attention on the breath. Then breathe in and breathe out. In developing awareness of breathing, don't intentionally make the breath long or short.Neither make it astrong or weak. Just let if flow normally and naturally. Mindfulness and selfawareness, arising from the mind, will know the inbreath and the outbreath.
Be at ease. Don't think about anything. No need to think of this or that. The only thing you have to do is fix your attention on the breathing in and breathing out. You have nothing else to do but that! Keep your mindfulness fixed on the in-and out-breaths as they occur. Be aware of the beginning, middle and end of each breath. On inhalation, the beginning of the breath is at the nose tip, the middle at the heart, and dthe end in the abdomen. On exhalation, it's just the reverse: the beginning of the breath is in the abdomen, the middle at the heart, and the end at the nose tip. Develop the awreness of the breath: I at the nose tip; 2, at the heart;3, in the abdomen. Then in reverse: 1, in the abdomen; 2, at the heart; and 3, at the nose tip.
Focusing the attention on these three points will relieve all worries. Just don' think of anything else! Keep your attention on the breath. Perhaps other thoughts will enter the mind. It will take up other themes and distract you. Don' be concerned. Just take up the breathing again as your object of attention. The mind may get caught up in judging and investigating your moods, but continue to practice, being constantly aware of the beginning, middle and the end of each breath.
Eventually, the mind will be aware of the breath at these three points all the time. When you do this practice for some time, the mind and body will get accustomed to the work. Fatigue will disappear. The body will feel lighter and the breath will become more and more refined. Mindfulness and self-awareness will protect the mind and watch over it.
We practice like this until the mind is peaceful and calm, until it is one. One means that hte mind will be completely absorbed in the breathing, that it doesn't separate from the breath. The mind will be unconfused and at ease. I twill know the beginning, middle and end of the breath and remain steadily fixed on it.
Then when the mind is peaceful, we fix our attention on the in-breath and out-breath at the nose tip only. We don't have to follow it up and down to the abdomen and back. Just concentrate on the tip of the nose whether the breath comes in and goes out.
This is called "Calming the mind", making it relaxed and peaceful. When tranquillity arises, the mind stops; it stops with its single object, the breath. This iwhat's known as making th emind peaceful so that wisdom may arise.
this is the beginning, the foundation of our practice. You should try to practice this every single day, wherever you may be. Whether at home in a car, lying or sitting down, you should be mindfully aware and watch over the mind constantly.
This is called mental training which should be practised in all the four postures. Not just sitting, but standing, walking, and lying as well. The point is that we should know what the state of the mind is at each moment, and, to be able to do this, we must be constantly mindful and aware. Is the mind happy or suffering? Is it confused? IS it peaceful? Getting to know the mind in this manner allows it to become tranquil, and when it does become tranquil, wisdom will arise.
With the tranquil mind investigate the meditation subject which is the body, from the top of the head to the soles of the feet, then back to the head. Do this over and over again. Look at and see the hair of the head, hair of the body, the nails, teeth and skin. In this meditation we will see that htis whole body is composed of four 'elements': earth, water, fire and wind.
The hard and solid parts of our body make up the earth element; the liquid and flowin gparts, teh water element. Winds that pass up and down our body make up the wild element, and the heat in our body, the fire element.
Taken together, they compose what we call a "human being". However, when the body is broken down into its component parts, only these four elements remain. The Buddha taught that there is no 'being' per se, no human, no Thai, no Westerner, no person, but that ultimately, there are only these four elements -that's all! We assume that there is a person or a 'being' but, in reality, there isn't anything of the sort.
Whether taken separately as earth, water, fire and wind, or taken together labelling what they form a "human being", are all unstable, uncertain and in a state of constant change --not stable for a single moment!
Our body is unstable, altering and changing constantly. Hair changes, nails change, teeth change, skin changes--everything changes, completely!
Our mind, too, is always changing. It isn't a self or substance. It isn't really 'us', not really 'them', although it may think so. Maybe it will think about killing itself. Maybe it will think of happiness or of suffering--all sorts of things! It's unstable. If we don't have wisdom an we blieve the mind of ours, it will lie to us continually. And w e will alternately suffer and be happy.
Together they are impermanent. Together they are a source of suffering. Together they are devoid of self. These, the Buddha pointed out, are neither a being, nor a person, nor a self, nor a soul, nor us, or they. They are merely elements: earth, water, fire and wind. Elements only!
When the mind sees this, it will rid itself of attachment which holds that 'I' have, 'I' am beautiful, 'I' am good, 'I' am evil, 'I' am suffering... You will experience a state of unity, for you'll have seen that all of mankind is basically the same. There is no 'I'. There are only elements.
When you contemplate and see impermanence, suffering and not-self, there will no longer be clinging to a self, a being. I or he or she. The mind which sees this will give rise to Nibbida, world - weariness and dispassion. It will see all things a s only impermanent, suffering and not-self.
The mind then stops. The mind is Dhamma. Greed, hatred, delusion will then diminish and recede little by little until finally there is only mind--just the pure mind. This is called "practicing meditation".
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
10 Day Vipassana Meditation
You wanna get deeper in Buddhist life, Learn meditation,Understand real freedom, Be away from consume, You wanna learn about yourself, Or just because you wanna see if you can make it 10 days without speaking.
:)
- What? Vipassana Meditation course
- Where? All over the world, most of the time in a quiet mountain area
- How Much? Free, on donation basis.
- What do you need? 10 Days of your life, patience and strength
A reflection:
Before I start talking: Vipassana is sort of the most important or maybe THE most important thing I did in my life, because it helped me finding back to my inner voices.
I was 19 years old when I first heard about Vipassana. I just freshly graduated from highschool, my mom sent me studying Chinese in China (I am of Chinese origin) and I decided to meet one of my best friends who was just exploring Thailand. What a journey! Anyhow - so she told me all about Vipassana, how she had registered, how she had already took the journey to the temple somewhere in the middle of nowhere and while the course was about to start, she went through the rules again and decided "nope, aint for me!" and quit -
exactly those rules that had made her quit the course, were the characteristics which made it all so exciting for me - yes exciting - somewhere inside me a bell started ringing, an echo came, and its so cliche but true- I knew "I have to do this!/
So the daily schedule is waking up at 4am in the morning, meditating over 10 hours a day, having only veggy food (breakfast, lunch, 2fruits for dinner), while you are not supposed to talk/read/write/listen to music/ internet or whatever ("noble silence"). /
Thanks to my ambitious nature I learned to overcome the physical pain quickly. The question to quit never even entered my mind. It was absolute clear to me that I will complete that course. My pride would not have allowed me to leave. So within days I was able to sit 60 minutes without a single movement with a posture a ballet dancer would have been proud of. However, exactly that ambition was the next border to be broken as it is one of the characteristics meditation tries to overcome: the EGO.
it was the 5th day or so, when i finally was able to let go. not only of the physical pain, but also of all the thoughts in my head. i was able to observe. while not even realizing that i was doing so.
the first time that i saw the person i was. full of anger and hatred. full of desires and fears.
the cognition that only love is important. - i mean you might know this in your head, but it's a whole different story to understand this in your heart.
at some point also these thoughts passed.
and i only was. i was in that state maybe for seconds. maybe for hours. i don't remember. in retrospect i realized, in the first time in my life, i had actually found peace. and peace is, when you are in harmony with the universe, when there is no i.
Well I am still working on that EGO story, but let me tell you how Vipassana has changed me so far:
One of the most important changes is that I used to be a person full of anger, my outbursts of fury were well known among my poor friends - I am not an angel now, but so much more peaceful - before I did not even understand the feeling of peace --- being born in a business family, my only aim in life was getting rich, next to enjoying all the material joy one can find on earth - now money is just a tool not the target. I avoid eating meat, fish, drinking alcohol etc. - I finally managed to quit smoking after years///--- short: my whole life has changed.
because now i know there is something worth changing for.
ich kann nur (m)einen weg beschreiben. das lesen einer wegbeschreibung, ist jedoch nicht genug um am ziel anzukommen.
there is no way to describe a feeling, you can only go to experience yourself: www.dhamma.org
Useful, too:
- Goenkaji-U ba Khin : The clock of Vipassana has struck
- Ledi Sayadaw: Manual of Ultimate Truth
- Joseph Goldenstein: Insight Meditatoin – the practice of freedom
Try 10 Days Vipassana Meditation and you know.
Wayne Dyer
Quote of the day
Wayne Dyer
"A belief System is nothing more than a thought we've thought over and over again."
Wayne Dyer
"A belief System is nothing more than a thought we've thought over and over again."
Monday, July 18, 2016
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Book Review: Daniel Odier Tantric Quest: An Encounter with Absolute Love
in short: daniel odier describes his journey to India, where he met an enlightened tantrika leading him to the deepest states of awareness.
when reading this book i felt it being one of the most authentic stories ever. either daniel odier is a mastermind of a writer or he just has to have lived what he is telling in there. it describes beautifully not only what tantra is, but his own journey and feelings initialized by his master Devi.
what is tantra?
tantra is said to be originated 7000 years ago in the indus river, south of kashmir. it is the mystic, the scientific and the artistic part of drawidinic culture, and everything possible for the human being.
it is probably the only antique teaching, which survived time, robberies, emperors by the continuous delivery from master to student. the only teaching, where you can still find the idea of the big goddess without emphasizing the power of men.
the highest fulfillment of a Tantrika, one who is exercising Tantra, is to understand and realize our deepest nature. it is not limited to sexual techniques - in the opposite, without truthful spiritual understanding these sexual practices will become shallow and meaningless.
daniel odiers story --
daniel odier seems to have been looking for a master for decades, until one time, in the middle of nowhere in india, he just gave up. this precious moment led him to meet his master: an enlightened yogini - a woman who is supposed to be dangerous, even a murderer as rumor wants it. his determination was set though. daily he would trek close to her hut, presenting various offerings until she accepted him as a student. . .
highly recommended - a must read!
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Psychosis or Spiritual Awakening: Phil Borges at TEDxUMKC
now i can look back and write about it, but back then, it was just a horror trip which did not seem to stop:
2014, autumn, i am in australia, byron bay hinterland. i am with friends, people who love me dearly. i am in a community where i can be who i am and can live the life i have always dreamed of. nature, art and beautiful music are surrounding me.
and what happens?
voices within me, voices go through me, spirits are with me, shadows want to be resolved and i dont know how to deal with the situation. in one second i was totally fine and in the next i was crying like a river fall. i walk into wonders, like seeing cobras dancing - plants talk to me- i see people and see through - i know more than i should - i felt i was going crazy.
and i ran. this video helped me so much. thank you.
digital nomads - authentic lifestyle or undercover depressed?
what is it all about?
dreaming to live where other people do vacation?
and not only there, but having the freedom to live anywhere at any time -
when work only needs a laptop and internet access?
or are they just running away?
i have been observing this trend for a couple of years now... and it seems the number of digital nomads are growing!
there are people like sebastian kühn who did not fit into the "normal world", being employed and working in the office just made him unhappy. he started by taking online jobs, after that he built a marketing agency and finally he is working with his own projects, which he calls: wireless life. he sounds pretty happy with what he is doing.
another similar fellow is ben paulo, who started a blogging university and is likewise successful.
in germany there are even conferences by now: where you meet and connect to like-minded people.
however, there are also critical voices like patrick. he says, all this traveling around, is just about running away from yourself. you are happy as long as you are on the road. however, as soon as you return to your home country, you can not stay. Why? because you are faced with the boring everyday life or you are missing real social contacts, as in the meantime your friends moved on or you moved on and the base of a real friendship is just gone.
it is a tricky question. where do we cross the line from living an authentic life to just running away from everyday life?
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